Wingin It!

D'ya like them then? My new wings. From today - tonight actually, I am officially up there on the same wing-length of those Victoria's Secrets 'Angels'. Yeah! And so says me. New year, New me...and I'll be damned if I need anyone to decide whether I'm worthy of wearing them. Have I lost the plot? The answer to that is NO. I already had some new 'plans' (more on that later) and then decided to throw the angel bit in for good measure after this little episode: my sis texted me and demanded I "switch on the Entertainment channel 151 NOW and watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" and then started with the "OMG J, how fab are they!" and then "OMG! how emotional it is when they get their wings!" texts. Like your probably wondering now while reading this, (if anyone's reading?) I too, was like "Waaaaaaaa?" Now - I am aware of Victoria's Secret  - isn't it a fab underwear store, and they have all these fab models walking down runways wearing nothing but bra's, panties, and schoolgirl socks - Oh, and of course, and from what I've also noticed fleetingly - they wear wings? Now...and as my sis kindly filled me in - they are 'awarded' with these wings (hence them getting emotional). These wings came in all designs and colours, (think transvestite style at the Mardi Gras) and the girls wearing them looked like they'd literally died and gone to heaven.  I wont pretend to know any more than that - cos I don't (I must ask my VSA obsessed niece sometime what exactly the story is behind it all) - all I know is that they get given these things to attach to their shoulders at some point, and from what I remember seeing - the more established you are, the bigger and better the wing (think Heidi Klum - that bit older, wiser and longer standing 'angel', ...then you've got the lesser known model who hasn't been doing it for as long but then someone decides its her time to fly, so she gets awarded her pair!) It left me wondering - Why? What does it take for them to get some wings? Do ya need to be 'young' and dolly-like? (they were) Fit and statue-esque, with pert boobs, a tight ass, and tumbling locks, (they were) ah..and not forgetting that white bright dazzling smile? WTF...I'd like to know who this WING GIVER is, and exactly how they dictate which women are worthy of wearing them!  - I bet ya a hundred bucks it's a man!

Back to my 'plan'. I know its a bit late into the new year to mention resolutions but mine isn't a resolution as such...it's just a new 'life path' I've decided to take and I shall be walking it from tomorrow! (had a few things to catch up on the last few weeks hence the delay). I'm hoping to take a whole new approach to my health and well being - namely keep (or try to anyway) my hormones in check (and be ever-so-polite and totally ignore any fiends that jump me, Oh - and lose my pass that allows me to get aboard the Hormoneville bus), adopt the most positive mental attitude EVER, (!) not get stressed, eat well, sleep well, exercise well (and be in the best shape of my life) - in a nutshell - Feel goddamn great and look fucking fantastic! And that's even before I get to the grand ole age of 40. Yeah - Moi!

It's approaching. In exactly 7 months and 22 days I shall be gettin on the big Four - O bandwagon. Fourty. Fooorty. Four and Ohhh equals Fourty. 40. WOW - didn't know there were that many ways of putting it down! I cant say I'm 'scared' (for want of another word) but being realistic, isn't it a big thing - youre 40th birthday? It feels like only yesterday I was 21. I do think I look pretty good for my age - considering I'm 39, (and a mum, a wife, an employee and all the rest of those things that makes me Super-F-Woman) I've always looked after myself, kept myself fit and as healthy as I can and I don't feel TOO bad. Well I didn't anyway, until I entered the Hormone Hell that I did, but hey - onwards and upwards is what the 'new' me says.

So - yeah - as from tomorrow, new path - me follow. I wont go into detail about the what's and how's - that's just for me and myself....but it's all gonna be good and I'll be embracing the changes head on! So...as of now, and in preparation for my new start (!) I'm feeling good and looking OK me thinks - well alright....my hair could probably do with a bit of help to look like it's actually alive, and I may not be of  that 'dolly age' or as pert as I once was, - but let me tell you something - no 'real' woman is -not naturally anyway, and certainly not after having a child and all the rest of it! (read my other post's for the 'all the rest of it' info!) I'll say one thing though (wahey! this  positive new me is workin already!) - this 'secret' that this Victoria has - is a crock of shit! There ain't no secret - nor is there any club that says us women have to look like lollypop sucking schoolgirls with sinewy frames and bouncy-ball hair in order to get in - or more importantly - be a part of to get some wings! Whatever your age, if your feeling fab, chances are you look it. So if your feelin it and lookin it - I don't need to tell you what to do next - wipe down those shoulders and put on those wings!

I don't know about yours - but mine are just as I designed them - big, bright and rainbow-esque colourful (like me!) WTF - did I say big? You should see the size of them. Heidi Klum eat ya heart out!

J X

It Wasn't me.........

Well...what do ya know! I've had the flu virus and have been really unwell the past week.  Really unwell. I'll say no more as just talking about it makes me feel queasy. I'll say this though - getting sick at Christmas  sucks. Big Time. The festive and New year holidays have been and gone before my eyes.....my hubby and son have also been unwell. No chocolates have been eaten. No wine has been drunk. No movies have been watched. No time around the xmas tree has been spent. In a nutshell - someone stole our Christmas (and it WASNT Mr Grinch - we love him) Anyway.........no biggie, because all 3 of us arenow feeling a bit better (hubby and son lots, me - getting there) so we are going to turn back the clock and have Christmas again this week. No wine though - just thinking of it makes me shudder.

What's HER Secret?!

Have you ever read something, or heard somebody say something that really struck a chord with you? Last night when watching the finale of ANTM (that's America's Next Top Model for those of you who are wondering) it was something Raina said (Yes, I know their names, and No I'm not an ANTM obsessive - I just happened to follow Cycle 14 (!) and managed to see every episode this time around (Dontcha just love Sky+). Anyway - back to Raina. Without turning into an ANTM geek, and going into all detail I'll just cut to the chase and tell it how it was. There were 2 of them left - R and Krista. Both were to 'stomp to the death' and one of them would be crowned ANTM. Before the walk off, they showed clips of both girls commenting on different things, Krista remarked something about how Raina was always just so happy and cheery, blah, blah, (can't remember word for word, but it was along those lines anyway) Then Raina spoke - and there IT was:

"Sometimes I think she (K) doesn't like me cos I'm a really happy, positive person. I always try and change everything that's negative into a positive and I think sometimes that pisses people off"

Where Art Thou?

Hey there. In case anybody's wondering where I am, or where I've been (or where my posts are to be precise!) .............. I got caught up in that silly Capulet v Montagues war then Romeo decided it was me he wanted after all, so swept me off my balcony and took me on this big adventure................Phew.

Nah, I'm just kidding - nice thought though. I'm right here and all is good. I shall be back with regular posts by the end of this week - and onwards. Been a hectic few weeks - too much to mention - but I literally haven't had a moment spare to sit and write - and boy, I've really missed it. Hope someone's missed me - or my posts anyway!

Shall be back in a day or so and pick up where I left off and hope I've still got some interested readers. In the meantime - have a little read (or re-read!) of older posts - and don't forget  - do comment should you feel like it - or share your own thoughts or experiences - or just say whatever it is you want.  

Laters

J x

Ho,Ho,Ho, Ho-rmonal (not me)!!!

Greetings Girls.  Here's a little pre-Xmas laugh for all those of you who care to read! If you're hormonal - my Xmas present to you is this advice - DON'T GO XMAS SHOPPING !!! I am lucky (!) as this time around I am not yet mid cycle, therefore I'm having a bit of peace from any fiends (until next week maybe, but what the hell - that's then, this is now, so I'll skip over that bridge when I come to it!) Anyways, I went Christmas shopping for an hour today and before I had to go and pick up my son from school. I had a little plan - a few shops and a few things and I would stick to my list and with no diversions. Did I? YES  I DID !!! Wahey!. No fiends were biting at my ass today. No baby!! Not me, nor mine! I had a little laugh (Okay, a laugh at the expense of others - a little selfish I know, but what the hell - sure makes a change for ME to feel 'free' as opposed to a day out in Hormoneville!) I was looking around (whilst in the Q to pay for my shiny new purchases of course) at the many women in the shop, who just like me, were doing their bit for Christmas - and I had a thought.........I thought 'I betcha - JUST BETCHA, a few of them were feeling the hormone pinch!!'  You know THAT feeling when you're shopping and just NOT 'feeling' it (cos your hormonal !!!) ......and your thoughts are all over the place, and your thinking "Right, I could get so and so a pair pf these pj's .....hmmmmm .... she's a small right? A small or a medium? Or is she a large - she did seem a bit fatter/thinner last time I saw her? Would she like the pink? ooohhh..errm..or maybe the blue? Oh for gods sake F*** this, I'll come back another time when I'm in the mood!!!" 

BOO!

Well, Well, Well.  Talk about 'speaking too soon'.  Just when I thought I was having  a free run - whaddya  know,  a fiend came and bit me right on the ass, and hissed "Na Na Na -Ya thought wrong!"

Yeah - so here I am, feeling somewhat rattled cos I can feel the little suckers jumping up 'n' down inside me and having a ball! It's just been one of those days - well, the day itself hasn't been THAT bad as such, but you know the type where you just find yourself feeling tense and agitated for no reason at all. Oh, except there IS a reason  - I'm due on my P.  And if I know my body as well as I think I do - it's coming early (hence the visit from the fiends and the 'Hormoneville'  bus parked up outside). Anyway, and before today kicked off -  for the first month in a good few, I physically feel like crap. C.r.a.p. Capital C.  My mojo's gone walkies. Both my boobs are swollen and sore (and not just the LEFT one as would normally be) my face resembles something from Domino's pizza, my hair - wot the hell - Halloween ended last week, and here I am with a witch like greasy-limp-rats-tails type do. I feel ever so tired, ever so sluggish, ever so this and ever so that - and have I ever felt this bad? You kiddin? Yeah -course I have, but not for ages anyway.  On the plus side though (!) mentally and emotionally - so far, it's all good. My mind is 'quiet', my emotion's 'quieter' and I don't feel the need to let loose any crocodile tears - not tonight anyway (and if all goes according to plan and I get rid of the little suckers as intended  - then there wont be any tomorrow either).  My day - I had a 'to do' list as long as my arm (book a hair appointment, buy my little boy a new school coat), a few places to go (bathroom and tile shops) and a few people to see (mother, grandmother) and as far as I knew (last night anyway!) I was going to Do, Go, See, all of it - today.  Did I?  The hell I did. I just couldn't be bothered doing a thing. Well tell a lie - I did actually go on the visits and also managed to go to look at baths and sinks for our planned new bathroom, but even that started to irate me until I told the hubby "just pick any one of the stupid things cos they all look the bloody same".  Cue coffee and a couple of deep breaths. 

Thank God for Little Boys!

HA! IF ...just IF ..any little Hormone Fiends had any intention at all today of coming my way - my little boy sure saw the suckers comin and scuppered any plans they had of invading my body or mind (or whatever it was they had planned for me up their dirty sleeves). I woke this morning, a lovely cold sunny day, and before they even had a chance to dive in, my little boy said something to me that sent them all packing - big time:

"Mummy............ "I Thank God for U"

If your'e asking "Did he?? Awwww....No Way!?" - Yes he honestly did, and yeah I was lost for words. For a 5 year old to say that - MY 5 year old.....well.......I wanted to cry. It took me a good few minutes to respond to him cos I was absolutely blown away. I cant even begin to explain how I felt - but never before have I felt so much love for another human being (and a little one at that!)but it was all good..... and there was nothing or nobody that could have made me feel otherwise.  And definitely not a load of the little Fiend Fuckers.